An electoral loss hurts, but it’s not a tragedy

One of the memes going around among disappointed Democrats (and I am among them) is “what do I tell my children?” Here is what you can tell them:

1. Tell them that this is what happens if you don’t vote. If African Americans had turned out in this election the way they did for Barack Obama, or if millennials had turned out the way they did for both Obama and Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton would now be the president-elect.
2. Tell them that one of the great things about the United States is that every eight years or so we have a peaceful transition of power. This shouldn’t be the first exception. The country has survived a civil war, two world wars, and the Great Depression, among other things. We can survive this.
3. Tell them that Americans are deeply divided about such things as immigration, abortion, race relations, trade, and the economy. Sometimes you end up on the winning side, sometimes on the losing side. Sometimes you care very much about the issues you lose, and it’s disappointing. But it’s not the end of the world and Donald Trump is not the devil incarnate.

This last bit might be the most important. The Democrats who insist that Trump is the devil incarnate, and the Republicans who insist that Hillary Clinton is, are a big obstacle to progress. If we can’t work together, we can’t solve the real problems we face: global terrorism, intractable poverty, increasing crime, spiraling medical costs, and a sagging economy.

Demonizing those who disagree with you might feel good for a while, but it only makes things worse. It makes it harder to find points of agreement, harder to compromise, harder to accept the inevitable disappointments. It spills over from politics to neighborhoods and workplaces, and makes daily life joyless.

Do your children a favor: Prepare them for the real world. Right now they probably think it’s a tragedy if the dog steals their cookie or their best friend is mean to them.

You console them, and you tell them it’s not so bad. Don’t undermine that message. Don’t let them grow up thinking that every electoral loss is a tragedy.

Suzanna Sherry is the Herman O. Loewenstein Professor of Law at Vanderbilt.