On the first day of what would have been her senior year at Vanderbilt, Mary Cady Ford had a baby. Ford’s Chi Omega sorority sisters crowded into her hospital room, shrieked with delight and brought an avalanche of cute Baby Gap outfits. Baby Caroline’s godfather, a fellow student, came by with a copy of the student newspaper. Then everyone went back to class and Ford was left to face a new reality: She was a new mother just one year shy of graduation.
“When everyone left and the reality sank in, it was bittersweet,” said Ford, who is building on those experiences to start a non-profit organization called Finished Up. The organization will provide support for undergraduate women like her who face unexpected pregnancies but want to finish their Vanderbilt degree.
Ford took a few months off school after Caroline was born, but through independent studies and by taking courses during Caroline’s naptime while her Chi-O sisters babysat, Ford walked through the Vanderbilt Commencement procession one year later than planned, picked up her degree in religious studies and art history and took one-and-a-half-year-old Caroline home for a nap.
Now Caroline is 3 and a half and this summer Ford will receive a graduate degree from Vanderbilt – this time in theological studies from the Divinity School. Ford originally planned to work as a chaplain after graduation, but she felt called to help others by using her experiences finishing her education while raising a young child.
“My parents thought I was crazy,” Ford said. “But I need to work off what I’ve learned. God gave me this experience, and now I have to do something with it.”
Finished Up, working through the Margaret Cuninggim Women’s Center at Vanderbilt, has created a fund that will provide monetary assistance and referrals to resources for housing, medical needs, childcare, counseling and spiritual growth so young mothers can begin to build a healthy life for themselves and their children while completing a degree. Ford hopes to raise enough funds so that a new mom could get a Kroger card if she is having difficulty paying for groceries, for example.
“Mary Cady is an amazing woman,” said Stacy Nunnally, director of gender matters for the women’s center. “Undergraduate women who experience an unplanned pregnancy need to have a place they can go to find all of the information, resources and options they need. And if they choose motherhood, they need the support to be able to finish their education.”
In January of 2004, Ford was a junior rush counselor enmeshed in school and Greek life. “I was helping girls through rush and stopping to throw up in the bushes outside the sorority houses. I was so sick. One day I was sitting in Furman Hall in a course called ‘History of the Old South’ and I felt so sick that I went right after class to Student Health,” Ford said.
The news that pregnancy was causing her symptoms of nausea was a shock, but Ford knew right away she would keep the baby. “I always knew I wanted to be a mom,” she said. “It was just a lot earlier than I expected.”
As any scholar would do, Ford asked the doctor to recommend a book, and she went out and bought What to Expect When You’re Expecting. She met with a faculty adviser and found a lack of centralized resources for pregnant students who decide to keep the baby and want to finish school.
“I felt defeated that day, but now through Finished Up you could go to someone and say, ‘I’m pregnant, I need help,’ and they can send you to the Women’s Center and you could get plugged in to a network of resources,” Ford said.
She has high praise for her sorority sisters who made her feel she was still part of a community, appearing with sandwiches for movie nights at her apartment and babysitting baby Caroline during classes. That lesson explains why those who take advantage of Finished Up will be required to stay in touch with their Vanderbilt community and find ways to give back when they can, she said.
Ford said the inspiration for Finished Up is her three-and-half-year-old daughter. “She needs to know mommy isn’t going to be passive about the rest of her life.” In fact, Ford is getting right to work after graduation, hoping to raise $50,000 to get the program started and build a Pregnancy Resource Fund.
It is also her mission to speak for a group of women often silenced by shame, Ford said. “Colleges and universities are talking a lot about sex and nobody talks about pregnancy,” she said. “We need to talk about it. There’s shame all around. Shame if you decide to abort, shame if you give the baby up for adoption, shame if you decide to keep the baby. We don’t even know how many women become pregnant because people don’t talk about it, and they often leave school.”
She hopes to one day start a scholarship aimed at young mothers. She bristles at criticism she’s received that prevention would be more effective or that she is contributing to “broken” homes. “Nothing about my home is broken,” she said. “If you abstain from sex, great. I’m not saying go out and get pregnant. No one thinks ‘it would be a kick to get pregnant so I can get a scholarship’.” But the reality, Ford said, is that sex and unplanned pregnancy happen on college campuses.
Ford never considered herself a feminist but her experiences have led her away from the career in publishing she once imagined for herself – her great-grandfather founded a newspaper in Chattanooga – and toward an advocacy role. “I realized that I can be strong and feminine at the same time,” she said. “I can be a mouthpiece for women whose voices are often silenced by shame.”
For more information, contact Ford at finishedup@gmail.com or Stacy L. Nunnally at the Margaret Cuninggim Women’s Center at stacy.nunnally@vanderbilt.edu.
Media Contact: Jennifer Johnston (615) 322-NEWS
Jennifer.johnston@vanderbilt.edu